Why people hurt us?

In our social life there will be some instances when our interaction with people wont go smoothly. We feel like someone is deliberately insulting us and wanting to hurt us. Whenever we feel like someone is insulting us and we are hurt  because of someone’s action then some adjustment in our thinking will help us to keep things in perspective. Here I have highlighted three areas in which we can adjust our perception.
  • Adjustment in time (Anatta) : People who are hurting us have been like this all their life in the past and will continue to be so in  future. Even in the instances where they were not hurting us they were exactly like this. It is our perception which was/is/willbe distorted rather then the person in concern.
  • Adjustment in space (Anicca)  : People who are hurting us have been like this to all other peoples and things in their life. To their loved ones, to their boss, and even to their children. Their behavior is not specific for us but it is a reflection of what is inside them. It has very little to do with us and our action.  It is very likely that they will continue to be so all their life. There is very little we can do about it. Hence blaming ourself for their action is pointless.
  • Adjustment in the illusion in self and non self (Dukkha) : The hurt we feel is most likely a side effect rather then primary intention. The primary intention of people is to get what they want. In their way to get what they want people unknowingly or unintentionally hurt us. It is our mind tricking us in thinking that THEY have hurt US. In fact there is no US and there is no THEM. There are only variation of one single consciousness.

Image courtesy : Pixabay

Thank you for reading this far.

May peace be with you.


3 thoughts on “Why people hurt us?

  1. When someone hurts me I have gratitude because when I am hurt I can be open to a kind of experience. I can learn from it and cultivate understanding and grow from the experience. Hurts may not be a bad thing. May be necessary or I can try and turn it in something positive.

    Liked by 1 person

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