Being a family man and a meditator sometimes provides a unique opportunity to observe ones inner intentions. Sometimes like every other couple we have our share of dispute. While in the middle of the dispute it is very very hard to be aware of our inner mental formations. After the tides of emotions settle down then I get a chance to observe my inner intention to involve in the dispute.
Peeling down the level of causes I go deeper and deeper. Most of the time I find it is entirely me who is having/raising a cause of dispute. If I am not the seed of conflict I find that I am the one who fans the flame of conflict. The cause or seed of most of our dispute is a “desire to change something about the other person” or “Inability to accept the person as he/she is”.
Our mind has deeper expectation about how a person should behave or act. Any alteration perceived will eventually be the seed of conflict.
Our inward expectation from others is somehow sensed by them. It determines how expressive they become in front of us. If we expect nothing from others it sets them completely free. So free that they can be totally themselves with us revealing their true nature.
Mind that meditates 
Thoughtful! Conflict takes two, and looking to mirror is a good first step. Before we can extend the acceptance to others, there are much shortcomings in ourselves we must be able to accept.
Metta
– Janne
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Thank you so much Janne! What you’ve said is absolutely true! 🙏
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